I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Text me some of your sweat
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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