Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
