Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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