Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
