It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
