"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
