fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
