The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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