My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
