It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
