I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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