Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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