apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
