I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
