I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
