so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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