Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
