I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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