he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
