Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
