I'm drive I can fine osifer
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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