We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
