My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
