what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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