Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm passing your future prison.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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