saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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