quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
