Small penises have feelings too.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
