Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
