How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
