I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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