I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
