i think my mom watched the whole time
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
did you just send me my own nude
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
