We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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