An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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