Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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