Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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