let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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