We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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