The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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