i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
