I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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