I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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