I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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