Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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