your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
