used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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