white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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