Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
