I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
