I wish I only lived at night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
